A handful of times in April, WordPress notified me that this blog–“The Value of Donkey and Self” had been viewed by what looks to be several different people (although 1: I’m not tech savvy enough or have the attention span to understand the analytics provided to me in my WordPress account’s dashboard and 2: I try to stay away from my analytics because it’s far too easy for me to place my value as a writer and ultimately a person in general into how many views/likes/shares etc I receive).
But I share here because multiple notifications did grab my curiosity and so I took the time to read that 5 year old post that I’d forgotten about.
I surprise myself with what I believe to be truths and my ability to sometimes express those in ways that really do connect with other people’s hearts. Of course, 5 years ago, things were very *very* different… Not just from a global standpoint (who’d have ever expected a pandemic like this) but just in my own, little circle. Profound losses. Deep-cut trauma. Betrayal. Pain. Grief. Fear. Hardwiring having become so tangled that I spark and sputter through everything I do.
Some things are the same, though. Bunny, my nearly 20 year old donkey that started all of this still goes out of her way to make sure I feel seen by her. Her value, not-so-much-a-baby-anymore Bodhi’s value, little Tee and now big Topper are all equally valuable simply because they are. My little ducks. My blind dog. My crazy cat. Little beta fish. Bearded dragon. All valuable.
And so am I–broken and awkward as I am, I am valuable simply because I am. And so are you, reader….readers who are still here even though I cut my exposure dramatically when I decided to leave Facebook. (I did that for my own mental health and have to remind myself constantly that I am not defined by my numbers. I am defined by the choices I make every single day).
But it’s nice to step through a time warp and remember what it felt like writing 5 years ago from such a different space. I often hear from the people who adopted those foster donkeys and they’re all still doing great.
Anyway, here’s a link to that blog if you want to read it: https://adonkumentary.com/2017/03/20/the-value-of-donkey-and-self/https://adonkumentary.com/2017/03/20/the-value-of-donkey-and-self/
And to the person or persons who inadvertantly reminded me of this time in my life, thanks. It’s both beautiful and difficult to read, but important nonetheless.
I love you, reader, whoever you are. You are valuable. Say it out loud: “I am valuable.”