Guilt.

Grief, anger, sadness, anxiety, and guilt. I suspect many of us are feeling [some combination of] these [or similar] feelings [again], but the last one is something I wanted to take a moment to highlight: guilt. Right now, I feel guilty for taking care of myself and my feelings when tragedies like Uvalde happened just... Continue Reading →

Bright Pink Cast

I broke my left wrist two years in a row from two different accidents in the 3rd and then the 4th grade. Being only 8 and then 9 at the time, I guess the breaks hindered my wrist development because to this day, both the mobility and strength in that left joint are limited. That... Continue Reading →

Win

Today, I nailed a presentation at work. But I felt like shit.Because autoimmune disease,Because trauma attacks endlessly,Because my head ached so bad that the sound of my own voice felt like breaking glass in my brain,Because my feelings were shit and didn't matter,Because imposter syndrome,Because anxiety experiences the worst so it won't hurt so bad... Continue Reading →

Do You Feel It?

When you wake up, do you feel a balloon in your throat, too? Or maybe it's a corset: too small and too snug, cinched up tighter than poor Kate Winslet's mom did to her in 'Titanic.' "Hold still," I think she said before she yanked again. Or is it that feeling of having had too... Continue Reading →

Some Lists

I pick up my phone, turn on the battery-saving screen but then stop. What was I going to look up? I stare out the window for a moment---the window which opens to a yard covered in snow. A yard not meant for snow and yet, it wears it beautifully. A brand new, sparkling coat. A... Continue Reading →

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