One year ago, I was rushed to the emergency room directly from a doctor's appointment. This was not my first hospitalization and I reckon it won't be my last, but it was different in that the reality of my mortality and the loneliness accompanied by being in a space where visitors weren't allowed because of... Continue Reading →
It’s mid afternoon on a relieving fall day here in East Texas. These rare, low humidity days are celebration-worthy and all the critters on the farm agree—them with their zoomies all over the yard. It’s precious. I’d run around with them too, if I could. I’m out in the pasture with my donkeys, three. I... Continue Reading →
Today, I nailed a presentation at work. But I felt like shit.Because autoimmune disease,Because trauma attacks endlessly,Because my head ached so bad that the sound of my own voice felt like breaking glass in my brain,Because my feelings were shit and didn't matter,Because imposter syndrome,Because anxiety experiences the worst so it won't hurt so bad... Continue Reading →
Do You Feel It?
When you wake up, do you feel a balloon in your throat, too? Or maybe it's a corset: too small and too snug, cinched up tighter than poor Kate Winslet's mom did to her in 'Titanic.' "Hold still," I think she said before she yanked again. Or is it that feeling of having had too... Continue Reading →
It’s pouring for the third day in a row and I’ve had to venture out into it vehicularly to attend a doctor’s appointment in a city south of here. I’m a confident, careful, and (probably overly) defensive driver, so freeways in a storm don’t typically make me nervous but a few miles ago, I hit... Continue Reading →