Below, I’ve linked to a blog I posted earlier this summer—a post in which I got caught red-handed in a people-pleasing loop by a friend that turned out to be my own hands suffocating me. Everything in the world feels so fractured, polarized, fragile, and honest-to-God scary and I can’t help but think a piece of that is our collective tendency to recluse from/suppress/distract from what we’re really experiencing; whether that’s pain, humiliation, rejection, PTSD, regret, grief, fear, or whatever it is that’s got your shoulders tensed up all the way to your ears (try to relax them down as you read this sentence).
Maybe don’t infinitely doom scroll today. Maybe turn off your notifications. Maybe go stick your feet in the water, feed some ducks, write a letter to someone, or just say “no” to whatever it is you’re dreading, and lay down to rest, instead.
Maybe let someone in who’s genuinely showing up for you.
Or maybe reach out to that person you’ve noticed has disappeared for a while. Ask if they’re okay. Extend a hand.
Every day, every moment, we have the chance to make a world of difference to someone, even if that world is tiny and won’t reveal itself until much, much farther down the road. It’s the whole spaghetti theory thing: that we’re all connected in some way and when we tug on one noodle, it shifts every single other one in the bowl.
“If you know someone going through something like this and you’re in a place in your life to be that friend for someone, reach out to them. Let them know you’re there.
And on the flip side, if you’re drowning from the inside, ask a safe person if they’re able to sit with you for a while and then let them. We, especially women, get so caught up in maintaining a certain level of “I’ve-got-this”-ness that we often deny the opportunity for our safe people to be there for us. You don’t mind when your person needs you, so why do you think they mind when you need them?”
A Donkumentary 
Leave a Reply