One of the first major differences one notices when moving from a bustling city to the quaint and quiet country is the increase of critter sightings. All kinds of critters, big and small, become part of the backdrop to daily chores and travels.
As I’m typing this, I’m still struggling with two rosebush thorns buried deep in the side of my right index finger after a dangerous rescue mission.
Last week, on one of those heated afternoons where the sun microwaves the standing water off the cement and up through the sky, I noticed our two dogs, Thing One and Thing Two, frantically digging, pawing, and fussing at the underside of our rosebush that’s closest to the road. Being dangerously near the spot where I found that poor half-eaten Mickey Mouse a few weeks ago, I approached cautiously with my trimming shears and a boot. The dogs fussed and whined, “Look mom, do you see it? Look what we found! What is it? Get it!!”
It took me a while to figure out what they smelled because I wasn’t sure what I was looking for besides my fear that it could be a diseased rodent (yes, they’re cute, but their unpredictable behavior and sharp teeth would make any mom nervous.)
Pushing aside thorned-limbs here and there while swatting away the bees that I disturbed and using the back of my gardening glove to wipe the sweat from my brow, I finally realized that a dinner-plate sized turtle had somehow wedged itself way up in the branches of this bush. His legs, head, and tail were bunched up in his shell, but I could see his little nostrils and the glint of his glossy, black eyes peeking back at me.
I have no idea how this clearly determined and adventurous turtle must have gotten this far into the oversized bush, because I ended up having to chop away somewhere between a third and a half of the entire plant just to reach him. I chopped branch after branch after branch (still following the advice to trim at the knuckles) and finally made a clearing large enough to squeeze in and grab the shelled-fella. The dogs were ecstatic. I retrieved what they thought must have become their new toy. They bounced like Tigger and woofed and wagged, but I only gave them a sniff before telling them to be nice.
The reptile enthusiast in me wanted to keep the turtle. When I was 10 years old, my dad and I were on a drive down a long country highway when we happened upon a small tortoise crossing the road. I screamed for him to pull over, so we did, and that little guy became my pet who lived in our backyard for the next 11 years. Every winter, he would hibernate, and every February, he would emerge and yawn for an hour and urinate for just as long. I loved that tortoise. Sheldon was his name. Alas, he ran away when I was off at college. My tortoise ran away.
But here’s the strange thing. As much as I wanted to keep this turtle for what I believe was mostly nostalgic-sake, this country life has taught me how much all these little critters need each other to exist properly. There’s a much more clearly illustrated circle of life out here.
For example, a few days before this turtle rescue mission, I took Little Foot around the corner to the lake to watch the clouds, the ripples, and the reflections. As we approached the shore (and forgive me for graphic descriptions here), we passed a very large, bloated, white-bellied deer, hooves up and neck kinked out to the side in the field next to the lake-access point. I’m not sure how this poor girl ended up here – I didn’t see any sign of attack. But there she was. Her fur still shiny and body perfectly in-tact. I couldn’t be certain, but she still looked warm. Even the flies hadn’t found her yet. I made sure to keep Little Foot’s attention on the water – not that I think he’d understand death yet, but why take the chance?
Two days later, all three of us – King Ranch, Little Foot and I – all walked down to the lake again and all that was left of this poor girl was bare bone. BARE BONE. Not even all of them. I’m flabbergasted with how quickly the food chain cleared her away. Sad. But also amazed.
Our status is dwarfed out here. Humans, I mean. I don’t feel like we reign supreme like we like to think we do elsewhere. As sad as it was to see such an elegant creature succumb to death and ultimately scavengers completely decomposing her, I can’t help but appreciate how many other animals and their families must have been fed. I would do anything necessary to feed my child – so don’t they have the same right?
Even though this living-along-side of nature instead of over it makes me feel smaller, it gives me purpose. I feel like I’m a part of something here – some sort of centuries-old order of man vs beast. It’s instinctual. It’s primal. It’s much more than convenience and scheduling.
It causes me to more deeply consider my own mortality. This is something that happened when I became a parent. It hit me dramatically one night when I put Toy Story on to watch with Little Foot. I so distinctly remembered enjoying this movie as a child while my parents watched us watch it. I had no idea then that I would one day be seeing Woody and Buzz battle it out with my own child. Yet, there I was, Little Foot in my lap, his eyes fixated on the screen while I rested my nose on the top of his head that still has that toast-like, new-born baby smell. It was overwhelming – a circle of life moment. I cried. It was a precious moment in parenthood. A very temporary, blink-of-an-eye moment. There will be a day all too soon when Little Foot is off to hang out with his friends, not daring to sit and watch cartoons with me.
I imagine it was a blink-of-an-eye moment that was the last of that belly-up deer. A blink-of-an-eye moment that the turtle got stuck in the bush (as fast as a turtle can blink an eye, of course.) And it forces an appreciation of each of these moments. These moments that now days we can’t seem to get through quickly enough. I hear so often that “I can’t wait until Friday” or “Geeze is it five o’clock yet?” It makes me sad that the human race has turned into a ‘getting through the day’ species. All of these days add up and are gone before we realize it. Then it’s over. Like the deer…recognizable one day…a pile of some bones the next. A whole creature: gone.
Whatever you may or may not believe happens to us when we exhale our last breath is beside the point. What matters is that each of these moments we experience…well…they’ll never come back. So soak them all in. We’re all a part of something much bigger and complex than we could ever comprehend. So don’t try to. Instead, just soak in the surroundings. Give the little guy a hand. Marvel in the beauty that are these moments.
I let the turtle go. I imagine that he has returned home having experienced adventure – that his friends are noting how different he is now that he’s returned more worldly and wise. A great adventure. That’s all this life really is – a great adventure. Big or small, we all have opportunities to do something good – to live fully and with purpose. Most importantly, we have the opportunity to all be in this together.
Love your stories Jess!
Your mom should be verg happy seeing you how happy uou are. There is not better feeling for a parent To see their kids having a happy life. Say hi to little foot and king ranch 🙂
Thank you, Blanca!!
Shout out to Sheldon! Your perspective is beautiful, Jess. I love reading your posts.
Thanks! I’m glad you’re enjoying them! Love you 🙂
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. God Himself is not secure, having given man dominion over His works! Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. […] Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”